In a world that constantly touts the benefits of being perfect...
how do you convince your kids that perfection does not really exist? That learning new things is hard. That anything worth doing well, takes sacrifice, patience, and lots of getting it wrong before you get it right.
We're struggling with these issue at our house. My daughters are both learning instruments for the first time and just can't seem to come to terms with the fact that the reason we practice is because we don't know how to do something we need to know how to do in order to move on and learn more.
They are so easily frustrated when they "squeek" or "bobble" or "fall off" the note. If a skill isn't mastered in 10 minutes, they are ready to quit. "I stink at clarinet." "I don't think I'm meant to play the French horn. Sadly, they both have some natural musical ability that has thus fair remained untapped because neither of them wants to work or put forth any effort to hone their skills. It's too much work, and they don't see results fast enough. (After all, those kids on the Disney Channel have everything work out perfectly for them in just under 22 minutes.)
ARGH!
I know it's partially my fault. Sometimes I hide my own struggles from them. In one sense, I don't want them to worry about me. However, part of me wants to keep my failures quiet. Hidden. I'm independent in that way and have always been the, "suffer in silence" type. I avoid showing my weaknesses or asking for help.
But I realize now that it's wrong to hide my struggles and frustrations from them. I'm trying to be more intentional about letting them in on how hard my job can be, or how difficult it is to prepare for a new lesson I've never taught. Sometimes I struggle with recipes several times before I get the desired outcome. There was this one time, I even challenged myself to write every day for a month and post it on a blog for others to read. I've told them all about the SOL challenge this month. I'm determined to share the good and the bad with them as the month rolls along!
Here's to learning through trial, error, success, failure and trying again!
Your words are so very true. Sometimes it's hard to teach our children those hard lessons, especially when we have trouble with them ourselves. :)
ReplyDeleteI think you are on the right track - try sharing out loud more of your struggles. Nothing is automatic. Practice is essential. Have you read Nurture Shock? It is about this very thing - building resilience and perseverance in our children.
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